Cielo Muniz Sigala

On Sept. 5, senior Isabel Acevedo works on her assignments whilst listening to Jeff Buckley, a singer and songwriter known for his yearning. Many BVH students can be found listening to music artists like Jeff Buckley because of the addressed topic within their songs.

If someone were to open the For You page on an average teenager’s Tiktok or Instagram, there is a significantly high chance that a video related to yearning would be found within the first 15 scrolls. From Jeff Buckley to Conrad Fisher, a semi-newfound obsession with yearning has arisen within the younger generation. Often characterized by suffering in silence and loving something or someone an indescribable amount, yearning has been uncovered and cherished in some of the most popular music, books and films of modern times. Senior Lily Graton defined yearning, pointing out the characteristics that a yearner typically embodies.

“Yearning is a deep desire or feeling of longing for something you know you cannot have. A good example of this would be unrequited love or even a feeling; people can yearn for happiness. What makes a yearner a yearner is their persistence. You can really want something really bad, but if you are yearning for something, you will want it for a very long time at a very high intensity,” Graton said.

Content related to yearning has persisted ubiquitously on platforms like Tiktok and Instagram for the past several months, drawing in a mesmerized audience. In the larger context of relationship culture, yearning has seemed to supersede trends like situationships to form something more concrete but simultaneously unattainable–a shift junior Tenoch Murillo noted.

“Prior to the emergence of yearning, I saw romance and dating culture to be more casual because people did not have a sense of what they wanted and they were searching for something temporary. I think these other prominent trends like situationships have left people feeling unfulfilled,” Murillo said. “Now, with this surge of yearning, people seem to want something more long-term that is more meaningful for both partners. They want something they can be fulfilled with.”

Seeing yearning through this lens turns it into a response–one of exasperation with recent trends and a desire for something deeper. Although this can be heavily attributed to the surge in yearning within the younger generation, yearning has been intrinsic to humanity for centuries. Graton explained her experience witnessing yearning within her family.

“My grandparents were yearners; they wrote letters to each other for years. My great grandparents were a product of war and they also wrote to each other for years and they longed for each other,” Graton said. “I do think there is a surge because of social media, but I do not think it is brand new.”

The way yearning presents itself differs from person to person, but key similarities persist throughout all examples. In both modern and classic times, yearning can be found. Senior Audrey Oani has recognized yearning in pieces such as Little Women and those created by musicians like Jeff Buckley, who has specifically made a return in the sphere of music and culture for his achingly acute representation of longing.

“The best example of a yearner is Jeff Buckley. In his songs ‘I Want Someone Badly,’ ‘Forget Her’ or ‘Lover, You Should’ve Come Over,’ you can tell he is aching. I talked to a couple of teachers about if Jeff Buckley had brought back yearning and we decided yearning had existed before Jeff Buckley and these really popular shows,” Oani said. “If you look back, you will find romance songs by [classic artists] like Tchaikovsky. Yearning and having that strong feeling of want, love and authenticity have existed long before these popular trends.”

While yearning has existed in practically every era throughout human history, a notable gender dynamic has arisen recently, with a primarily female audience taking in most of the content. On one hand, Murillo pointed out that audiences of women seem to accept yearning more widely as compared to men.

“I have noticed a pattern when it comes to the gender dynamics in the trend. Whenever I see someone posting about yearning, it is usually women. I do not really see men posting about it that much. I do not know what the significance of that could be, but maybe it is that women feel more open to sharing their feelings of longing and men just hide it,” Murillo said.

On the other hand, even when considering instances where the spotlight is on men yearning like in “The Summer I Turned Pretty” or with Jeff Buckley, the target audience is young women. Oani explored this idea, finding an opportunity for reflection and growth in a seemingly subconscious pattern that yearning follows.

“The return of yearning makes people, particularly female audiences, more aware of the people that they choose to keep in their life. Seeing the return of yearning content has brought a lot of reflection in my own life and how I would like to be treated, as well as how I want my friends to be treated by those in their life–people who will make time for them and put the effort into being there for them,” Oani said.

While yearning can have positive effects on relationships, the opposite is both probable and palpable. Romanticizing the aching that comes with yearning can turn a natural, almost inescapable experience into something forced, painful and obsessive. Although it can go both ways, Oani warned against the prevalence of young women yearning solely for the sake of achieving romance.

“I think that pattern [of yearning] is largely in the hands of young girls, which is something to be more cautious of when you come to think of it. It is important to keep in mind that these young girls have so much more to their lives than just yearning for a boy,” Oani said.

Ultimately, the return of yearning has been remarkably transformative in relationship culture. The content circulating on social media platforms and streaming services plays a big role in this, and the result of yearning thus far has influenced young audiences to find what they truly and deeply desire.

“As humans, we are wired for connection that is deeper. We long for what we see in movies like The Notebook and in our grandparents’ marriages–the lifelong connection that I think we were born for,” Graton said.