Over the years it has become a recognizable tradition for Bonita Vista High (BVH) staff members to enroll their own children on campus. The reasons vary through staff members; whether it is the academics BVH has to offer, the convenience of going to work with your children or the relief of having a close proximity to their own child.
Biology, Advanced Placement (AP) Environmental Science, International Baccalaureate (IB) Environmental Systems and Societies teacher Jennifer Ekstein commutes from El Cajon to teach at BVH everyday. Although Ekstein only lives approximately five minutes away from Granite Hills High School (GHHS) she chose to enroll her freshman, Soleil Ekstein, at BVH due to the IB course opportunities.
“I gave her options whether she wanted to do IB or not. When GHHS had their open house I asked questions about IB and I came to find out that they do not guarantee the program at GHHS,” J. Ekstein said. “There were no IB math courses so I went up to the counselors and that is when they told me. I said to her, ‘look, if you want to do the IB program it is not guaranteed [at GHHS]’”
Prior to S. Ekstein’s enrollment at BVH, J. Ekstein familiarized her daughter with the campus along with some of the teachers she would eventually meet. J. Ekstein believed this would help with her transition into the school.
“It is quite an enjoyable experience. It is nice because I have known all my teachers since I was little, because I have grown up here at BVH. So walking into all the classrooms and meeting all my teachers was not that big of a surprise,” S. Ekstein said. “I also get some perks like getting to use the bathroom key and I do not have to wait in the absurdly long bathroom lines.”
Alongside Ekstein, World History teacher Myrna Takaki also enrolled her daughter, junior Victoria Takaki. M. Takaki’s motive behind V. Takaki attending BVH was to make it easy on her family’s schedule by both of them going to one single location.
“The idea of [V. Takaki] going to school with me was not a foreign one, as she attended elementary school where my husband was a teacher as well. Plus, I have witnessed great teaching at BVH by my colleagues and made the decision easy to ensure that my daughter will receive a quality education. V. Takaki is currently enrolled in the IB program,” M. Takaki said.
Similar to M. Takaki, J. Ekstein states there are many advantages to having their daughters attend BVH. One of the advantages is being able to be near her daughter at all times. The close proximity between J. Ekstein reassures her that S. Ekstein is safe and eliminates any worries she has about her location or other issues.
“[There] is always this daunting notion that your kid is dropped off at a different school that is 25 minutes away. What if something really horrible happened? I would not be able to be there in time. If anything happens while I am here, it will only take two seconds to get anywhere on this campus if she needs me,” J. Ekstein.
As each of these parents go through the experience of having their own child at BVH, the relationships between parent and child have developed. Especially for M. Takaki, she and her daughter have created an unbreakable relationship.
“V. Takaki and I have always been really close. Outside of school, I am a heavily involved parent, so her attending BVH fits with my parenting style. I think being together has strengthened our parent-child relationship but also blossomed into a sort of girlfriend relationship as she gets older,” M. Takaki said. “We joke that when she goes to college we are both going to be a mess as we are always together and lean on each other in and outside of school. We have a front seat to each other’s good and bad days.”
Takaki reciprocates her mother’s feelings towards their great relationship. She feels that their bond has evolved since she was a freshman. Being able to see each other throughout the day has allowed them to grow together at the same time.
“We are there to support each other so we have definitely gotten closer. I also feel that we better understand each other as we are in the same school and more or less experiencing the same things. The most prominent thing is that I have relied on my mom more than ever,” V. Takaki said. “I can leave my dance team and golf stuff in her class which gives me a good excuse to go over and say ‘hi.’ Sometimes when I am having a bad day it is nice to know that my mom is there as she supports me a lot, and always reminds me that she loves me.”
One of the advantages of both students having their parents at school is the support and comfort they give to each other. J. Ekstein and M. Takaki provide snacks for their daughters who stop by to receive and enjoy their food.
“[V. Takaki] stops by everyday, as a perk of me being here is that I have snacks. We have lunch together once a week, which I look forward to. I love seeing her face at work everyday,” M. Takaki said.
Takaki understands that it is a very different situation for V. Takaki compared to other students. In fact, V. Takaki feels that having a parent on campus is a part of why faculty may be harder on her as a student.
“I feel that teachers expect us to be more responsible, and if a teacher needs to contact our parents they can just walk down the hallways to their class. There is definitely a lot of pressure academically to do good in classes and not embrace your parents. Regardless of the extra pressure, I would say that having my mom at BVH is more of a pro than a con,” V. Takaki said.
Adding on to V. Takaki, S. Ekstein feels as if having a parent also gives herself chances that not many other students have. Even though academic pressure weighs on the teachers’ children, S. Ekstein realizes the opportunities that are given to her and not to other students and appreciates them.
“For some aspects, I feel like I have opportunities that other kids do not because I have known all my teachers since I was little. I also feel like having her [J. Ekstein] at the school has helped me a lot especially in some of my classes, especially since she knows the teachers,” S. Ekstein said.
As the relationship between student and parent improves, the relationships between a parent’s work and colleagues may be impacted by their child. In some cases, the teacher-parent may face instances where a teacher has their kid in their class. J. Ekstein believes that even though it may affect the relationship between her and another colleague, she understands that whatever her child is dealing with it is not to be discussed or fixed by her.
“That whole professionalism relationship, I do not want to ruin, so that is why it is on her. Unless it is a behavioral issue and I need to step in, that is a different thing. If it is academic and she knows she needs to do whatever she needs to accomplish, that is on her,” J. Ekstein said. “The whole thing about self-advocacy is really important in teaching your kids. At the end of the day it is her grade, not my grade and it is a reflection on her and not me.”
Ekstein believes that having S. Ekstein resolving her own academic issues is what is best for her, but spending time with her is the most important part. Now that the two are both attending the same schools for work and education, J. Ekstein is able to catch up on the time she missed when S. Ekstein was younger.
“I felt really bad as a parent missing a lot of her school activities at the elementary school because I was here, and I could not get out because I have obligations here. But now that she attends BVH, I do not miss anything, so it is really nice,” J. Ekstein said. “She walks in every once in a while and she grabs her snacks. Obviously I take her to school but I also see her everyday, and if there is anything she needs, I am here for her.”
As the school years proceed, many parent-teachers will continue to learn and improve on their relationship with their children. J. Ekstein and M. Takaki are the few among many teachers and faculty that understand the experience of having their children attend BVH. Additionally, S. Ekstein and V. Takaki are the few students at BVH who can experience this great and humbling opportunity. M. Takaki feels that being able to become involved in her daughter’s life, has allowed her to see the person she truly is and therefore appreciates this one time opportunity as well.
“My favorite part of having V. Takaki in school is being a witness to her academic experience, growth and challenges. I can see things occur live and I do not take that for granted. She is a pretty amazing human who perseveres and strives to be her best self, sometimes taking on too much, but always learning,” M Takaki said. “I love her very deeply and I am blessed that I can [be involved] in her educational experience directly. When she sees me at school, I want her to always remember that she is loved and supported by me.”
