It was a Tuesday afternoon. A surplus of emails lined up as I painfully read through them in my abandoned inbox. Among the many advertisements and random colleges attempting to convince me to apply, a specific email caught my eye.

“Important Kennel News 9/4/2021 – 9/10/2021”, read the email subject. Promptly, I opened the email and began to read the news that would go on to upset me greatly.

The email came from the Greyhound Adoption Center (GAC), the animal shelter I used to volunteer at nearly two months ago. Due to the transition to in-person learning, time had become my enemy, and the stress of homework and responsibilities had overwhelmed me. This ultimately forced me to abandon the place where I could bond with the greyhounds at the GAC.

Nonetheless, I retained only one thing after reading that email. Seemingly, two greyhounds—Stella and Hart—had been rehomed. I asked myself, Why had I let time and work consume my volunteer work and leave me to abandon the dogs I love dearly?

Sadly enough, Hart and Stella happened to be my favorite greyhounds of the 20 other dogs who inhabited the center, so seeing as they had found happy homes left me with a bittersweet feeling.

For the rest of the day I felt uneasy, and as I reread the email in my head again and again, I could not let go of the fact that I did not get the chance to say goodbye.

In all honesty, I wanted to blame anything and anyone but myself for making me forsake the animals who depended on me. Inside my mind, a different conflict was in motion.

Not until now, I realized that I was angry for letting the responsibilities of school overwhelm me. Being part of the International Baccalaureate (IB) program, I feel as if I have not fulfilled the IB learner trait, Balance, which ultimately took away the chance to say my goodbyes to the dogs.

With this realization I came to another. If I had been able to say my goodbyes, how would I have reacted? I decided that it might have been best that I was not able to say my goodbye in person. The weight of that goodbye would have been very heavy on my emotions. With that, I am appreciative of the email sent by the GAC so that I could stay informed and value the time I had with Stella and Hart.

Not every goodbye will go the way I expect it to, and sometimes, it’s better to say those farewells from afar.