There is a common expectation that your prom date should check all the boxes: attractive, not a complete loner, confident and maybe even someone you have been secretly hoping would ask you out. Prom is supposed to be perfect. At least, that is the expectation. The expectation is to have the right dress, photos and even a “perfect” date. Yet, to be candid, it is important to recognize that the idea of a perfect prom date is more of a fantasy than a reality.
Prom does matter, but not necessarily for the reasons people might think. It is less about having the perfect night and more about recognizing that it is one of the first and last times you will be in the same place with the same people doing the same thing. For most seniors, it exists as one of the highlights of their high school experience before everything changes and they enter the start of adulthood, which is what gives it weight in the first place. Two students in their senior year; Jewel Lasig and Nyah Kuemmerle, resonate with this idea, explaining what they think of the event of Prom itself:
“[Prom is] a senior event and a one-of-a-kind experience,” Lasig said.
Kuemmerle saw it differently.
“It is fine, though underclassmen overhype it because they are not supposed to go,” she said.
Still, the idea of a “good” date does not disappear entirely. It just so happens to become simpler. For instance, when asked what matters most between looks, personality, and effort, most answers came down to effort.
“Effort is effort in all areas. If they have effort they must also be able to apply effort in both personality and looks,” Kuemmerle said.
Others, such as Senior Valentina Castruita, expressed a more nuanced point of view.
“In my opinion, personality is the most important. While looks might attract, personality is the actual factor that makes an individual stay,” Castruita said. While effort is essential in a relationship of any kind, if they have a good personality, the effort will come with it, and if it does not, then their personality is not all that and not worth the hassle.”
That becomes even clearer when students describe what they do not want.
“Not wanting to dance or be involved with anything and being on his phone” is how Lasig describes the behavior they do not want.
Kuemmerle, on the other hand, defines it as being habitually late, especially when both parties have taken a significant amount of time planning.
Castruita highlights something more specific: a lack of initiative. She explains that she often takes on the role of planning, organizing pictures, making reservations and coordinating details. However, she describes finding it frustrating when her date does not contribute. While she does not mind taking control, she values someone who helps ease that responsibility. When that effort is absent, it becomes an “ick”—slang to describe the shift of feelings into one of disgust or a “turn-off,” often triggered by minor or revulsive behavior.
When asked to imagine prom as a movie, the answers reflect how different people perceive their own personal experience. Lasig compares it to High School Musical or the Teen Beach Movie, something energetic and lighthearted, while Kuemmerle describes it as more like To All the Boys I Have Loved Before, leaning into the romantic side of the night. Castruita, however, compares prom to The Perks of Being a Wallflower, not necessarily because it is sad, but because it captures the nostalgia and the importance of friendships during moments like this.
While prom is often framed as this romantic milestone, many students experience it as something more collective, a shared moment between friends rather than a paired one. Despite all these varying perspectives, the “ideal” date sounds a lot more realistic.
Instead of perfection, it comes down to realistic components, such as someone who will dance with you even if they are bad at it, someone who does not disappear halfway through the night, and someone who laughs when things go wrong instead of making it a big deal.
In reality, most people are not looking for perfection; they are looking for someone who will be there and not miss the moment. And if you do not have someone to go with, it is not as big a deal as it might feel. Ask a friend. Go in a group. Go with someone you do not know that well, but think you would have fun with. Chances are, other people are thinking the same thing; you just do not hear them say it. Sometimes all it takes is asking.
